A while ago I read the story below of a driver pulled over by a police officer for speeding and her attempt to get out of being issued a ticket. The womans response is priceless.
After pulling her over, the policeman approached the driver’s door.
“Is there a problem, officer?”
The policeman said, “Ma’am, you were speeding. Can I see your license, please?”
The driver responded, “I’d give it to you, but I don’t have one.”
“You don’t have one?”
The woman responded, “I lost it four times for drunk driving.”
The policeman was shocked. “I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?”
“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”
The policeman said, “Why not?”
“I stole this car.”
The officer said, “Stole it?”
The woman replied, “Yes, and I killed the owner.”
At this point the officer was getting irate. “You what?”
“He’s in the trunk if you want to see.”
The officer looked at the woman and slowly backed away to his car and called for backup.
Within minutes, five police cars showed up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approached the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.
The senior officer said, “Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle, please!”
The woman stepped out of her vehicle. “Is there a problem, sir?”
“One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.”
“Murdered the owner?”
The officer responded, “Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please?”
The woman opened it, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
The officer said, “Is this your car, ma’am?”
The woman replied, “Yes,” and handed over the registration papers.
The officer, understandably, was quite stunned. “One of my officers claims that you do not have a license.”
The woman dug in her purse revealing a license and handed it to the officer. The officer examined it and looked quite puzzled. “Thank you, ma’am. One of my officers told me you didn’t have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner.”
The woman replied, “I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!”